Work Party '11

Fuzzy Coat!

I love my curly hair! :)

Adam's Work Party

We went to Adams work party this month! I really wanted to win a 360 Xbox with a Kinect. I didn't even know if that was an option but I thought that would be fantastic! It was the first prize given away!! But not to us. Actually it was the second year we went and didn't have our name called. Some people had their names read two and even three times. I don't know how that happens but it was another year of waiting for 3 hours of prize winning and not winning :/... I just needed a minute to complain! At least I got to dress up and have a dinner date out! That felt great! My hair didn't keep but it was a nice night with A!! And great food! I am going to miss Pork! This was the last night I ate meat for my new 2011 goal! :)

A Constant Struggle

I guess I know why the easy stuff seems to always be the hardest. At least when it comes to the "Sunday school answers".... read your scriptures, say your prayers, etc. . but I still allow it effect me.

Unfortunately, I approach reading my scriptures the way I do exercise. I SO badly hate exercising, I only do it every now and then because it's good for me and I don't want people badgering me all the time. I hate when I am doing it unless it is under cover like dancing or playing sports (which is all wrong because I never know what I am doing). I love it when I am done, but obviously not enough because the next time I have to exercise I dread it.

I wish there was a way to study the scriptures "under cover".

I have read them straight, I have read them backwards, I have studied topics, and I have high lighted things I am looking for like the word faith or God. Right now I am reading a column and writing a short summary at the top of the page. I have a cheap-o because this year I really wanted to dive into the scriptures, mark them up like crazy, and gain that special relationship with my Savior.( I know it's in there). I WANT THAT DEDICATION, THAT DESIRE, AND THAT COMMITMENT TO SCRIPTURE READING!! I just didn't get it...I guess if I wanted it that bad, I'd make it happen.....

What things have you done to make it enjoyable or even just habit you cannot break?

Ear Infection?????

Help! Jo has a low temperature. It has never been over 100 and his is normaly a really sweaty sleeper. He has been really fussy lately. I think it may be his teething because he eats his hands non-stop all day. The part that worries me is the many times a day where he pulls his ears. Does this mean something is wrong? or that he has just found his ears. I wish I had insurance for his four month appointment. I was just going to go to health department for shots. Ghetto huh?? How sad, I guess I just need to make an appointment. What are other signs?? and how can I make him feel better mean while. He has slept A LOT lately and cried the other half of the time. I know he is not feeling well because he gets calm when i strap him to me or rest with him or hold him close. He really gets me confused when he smiles and laughs during the day. My poor baby and what a horrible mommy I feel like.

My Battle Scars

It took 34 weeks but it finally happened. Those wonderful stretch marks ( I count 4). The baby has dropped and those lovely red marks appeared.

I am so sad.

I know they come from the inside out and no amount of cocoa butter or olive oil is going to prevent them but how I tried. My doctor told me not to count any stretch marks until after delivery. I guess it's then you get the mother load. Ha!

Spoiled Rotten

As a teen I was often told that I was a spoiled brat. This made me so angry! To me, I was normal!! I had nice things and I worked hard to earn things from my parents. I was a good kid and got rewarded like any one else. HOWEVER, when I got married I realized their opinions were correct. I am spoiled and marriage has really made things difficult. I haven't bought myself a single new thing. I haven't even had the desire. I know we need to be frugal so I don't worry about things I need (except for an occasional eyebrow wax). Any how, money has been tight and since I have been only student teaching and not bring in income I feel like everything is falling apart. I am not making my own money. I have to "depend" and "rely" on someone to take care of my needs. It has been driving me crazy. I feel like I have been screwed in this whole deal. Making sacrifices left and right. I am a good girl, I do good things, don't I deserve something extra??
Adam and I are from completely different worlds. I was an only child until I was a teenager. Adam has always had 3 or 4 siblings to play with at any given time. In the beginning of our marriage we would go out for dinner and Adam had such a hard time sharing a bite of his meal with me. I am from a family where everyone shares and trades, and its not big deal. Adam had issues where it was his food, he FINALLLY had ownership over something of his own and he wasn't about to give a little piece away. It's much better now!
The reason I bring all this up is because we keep looking over our finances. Our income vs. out go and comparing all the numbers. No matter how many loving relatives donate money to our "broke as dirt" foundation it will only help for a little bit. I was advised to sell my car so I posted it and walked to school for 2 weeks. No buyers. Our situation has changed with jobs and money. This weekend Adam said he thinks I can keep my car. That made me so excited! Honestly, I bawled some nights because I worked so hard to pay off my car thus far. I love her and she loves me. However, last night while reviewing our finances and future goals again, selling the car will help us make and keep money without having to search for pennies to pay bills. However, neither of us WANT to do that. We will see how things go.

The reasons I need my car:
1. I am still in school I travel to school once a week.
2. Adam works a crazy schedule and doesn't get home until 2 oclock and buses don't run that late.
3. I will want to do things. I can't imagine being happy locked in my home all hours of the day. I know many many many women do it all the time but I can't take that little bit of freedom away from me.
4. We don't have the support system out here. If we lived closer to family and friends who we could depend on then everything would be okay. It is not like that! We are on our own and it is just nicer to be able to take care of ourselves. Finally, 5. Don't I deserve it??
Back to me being a brat. I brought up the fact to Adam that I haven't bought myself anything. I told him I was taught to save and buy myself one new thing every month. Even if it was a 4 dollar lip gloss or a 5 dollar top from TJMAXX. It is something! He was so disgusted with the thought. He told me he was going to teach me how they did it in his home: that I would get new things once a year. ONCE A YEAR!! I was about in tears. I simply said, "Don't you want me to have everything? Don't you want me to have nice things and don't you want to shower me with gifts and items??" He laughed and said "no way!" I don't understand the way he thinks. I guess we have a lot of compromising to do. Right now we just have a lot of money making to do! As for me, I will hold my head up high and believe deep down inside that I still deserve anything and that my husband will always spoil me rotten......one day!