Spoiled Rotten

As a teen I was often told that I was a spoiled brat. This made me so angry! To me, I was normal!! I had nice things and I worked hard to earn things from my parents. I was a good kid and got rewarded like any one else. HOWEVER, when I got married I realized their opinions were correct. I am spoiled and marriage has really made things difficult. I haven't bought myself a single new thing. I haven't even had the desire. I know we need to be frugal so I don't worry about things I need (except for an occasional eyebrow wax). Any how, money has been tight and since I have been only student teaching and not bring in income I feel like everything is falling apart. I am not making my own money. I have to "depend" and "rely" on someone to take care of my needs. It has been driving me crazy. I feel like I have been screwed in this whole deal. Making sacrifices left and right. I am a good girl, I do good things, don't I deserve something extra??
Adam and I are from completely different worlds. I was an only child until I was a teenager. Adam has always had 3 or 4 siblings to play with at any given time. In the beginning of our marriage we would go out for dinner and Adam had such a hard time sharing a bite of his meal with me. I am from a family where everyone shares and trades, and its not big deal. Adam had issues where it was his food, he FINALLLY had ownership over something of his own and he wasn't about to give a little piece away. It's much better now!
The reason I bring all this up is because we keep looking over our finances. Our income vs. out go and comparing all the numbers. No matter how many loving relatives donate money to our "broke as dirt" foundation it will only help for a little bit. I was advised to sell my car so I posted it and walked to school for 2 weeks. No buyers. Our situation has changed with jobs and money. This weekend Adam said he thinks I can keep my car. That made me so excited! Honestly, I bawled some nights because I worked so hard to pay off my car thus far. I love her and she loves me. However, last night while reviewing our finances and future goals again, selling the car will help us make and keep money without having to search for pennies to pay bills. However, neither of us WANT to do that. We will see how things go.

The reasons I need my car:
1. I am still in school I travel to school once a week.
2. Adam works a crazy schedule and doesn't get home until 2 oclock and buses don't run that late.
3. I will want to do things. I can't imagine being happy locked in my home all hours of the day. I know many many many women do it all the time but I can't take that little bit of freedom away from me.
4. We don't have the support system out here. If we lived closer to family and friends who we could depend on then everything would be okay. It is not like that! We are on our own and it is just nicer to be able to take care of ourselves. Finally, 5. Don't I deserve it??
Back to me being a brat. I brought up the fact to Adam that I haven't bought myself anything. I told him I was taught to save and buy myself one new thing every month. Even if it was a 4 dollar lip gloss or a 5 dollar top from TJMAXX. It is something! He was so disgusted with the thought. He told me he was going to teach me how they did it in his home: that I would get new things once a year. ONCE A YEAR!! I was about in tears. I simply said, "Don't you want me to have everything? Don't you want me to have nice things and don't you want to shower me with gifts and items??" He laughed and said "no way!" I don't understand the way he thinks. I guess we have a lot of compromising to do. Right now we just have a lot of money making to do! As for me, I will hold my head up high and believe deep down inside that I still deserve anything and that my husband will always spoil me rotten......one day!