How Can I Live Without You?

I get anxiety pretty easily. It keeps me up at night the day before anything BIG is going to happen. I always have to wait for Adam to come home from work before I can feel comfortable going to sleep. If he is running late I begin to freak out. I start worrying about which hospital I have to go to because of his horrible car accident. Then that leads to how I will survive without him? Where will we burry him, where will I live afterwards? How will I be a single mother and will I ever get remarried?

Any time we are apart I have these horrible feelings. We've been married two years since yesterday MARCH 16th! When does this go away!? I think I could do it. I believe I have a great privilege of knowing and understanding death. Sure, it would feel sad and alone but I received my education and I could provide for my family.

When I was in Utah I met a woman who had been married for a couple of years and had just had her second baby when her husband got into a horrible accident and died. The family had money and she was able to stay with her children while they were young and then taught school afterwards. At 50 something she still never re-married. I know that it is not good to be alone, but I think I could wait for my sweetheart. Earth time isn't really that long. ( Adam says he'll get remarried). Adam makes me a better person, I don't know how I could live without him.

I am hoping these feelings are normal. However, these attacks need to calm down a little bit in case he has a career which takes him away for a long period of time. I need to find comfort knowing he will not leave me. How grateful we are to live in a time with the technology we have to stay connected!

Yesterday was our SECOND anniversary. Although it felt like a LOT of things have happened it wasn't that long ago when I was sealed to my loving husband for time and all eternity! I truly belong in his family. We belong together.. Whenever I question or get mad at him, my soul reminds me that she NEEDS his soul. Our spirits are much more connected then any part of us. How grateful I am to have met the one who my soul loves the most. Kisses to Adam for being a great husband even with ALL the grief I give him day in and day out! Thanks for sticking to your deal and loving me more than anyone actually needs to be loved. I came with quite the challenge.. keep up the good work! I love you!!

Here is to the first two years of our AMAZING journey ahead!